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Month of Mediumship, Lesson #5: Spirit Communication 101

Welcome to Lesson #5, my friends! Today we are going to talk about how you can sit down in an intentional way to speak with a specific spirit. Next lesson, we will talk about how to hold a séance with other people, but this lesson is geared towards those times that you want to have a quiet conversation. A séance for one, if you will.


You are familiar by now with the first few steps of preparing to communicate with spirits:

  • Discernment

  • Getting to a neutral state

  • Grounding and surrounding yourself with a protective bubble of light (or whatever works for you)

If you need a refresher, head back to the videos in Lesson #1.

Let's build on this, shall we?

Decide who you want to talk to. I suggest that you start with someone that feels safe. A relative or friend who has moved on or an ancestor that you have researched are some good starting points. Choose someone that you have a picture of or something that they owned in life.

Set your space. Tidy up a bit and wipe down the surface you’ll be using. Do not use salt in

your cleansing as it drives spirits away. Set out:

  • A candle, to light the way for the spirit.

  • A glass of water, which is offered as both a refreshment and a conduit.

  • A small offering of food and a drink. Many spirits like coffee and alcohol, or you can share your tea. Just a little will do. Spirits of the dead like the same things they enjoyed in life and it’s polite to offer someone a drink and snack when they come to your home.

  • A picture and/or personal items, if you have them.

  • Paper and something to write with.

  • If you practice any kind of divination like tarot, cartomancy, or bone throwing, have those tools handy as well.

Practice discernment by taking inventory of yourself and your surroundings. Take a big breath and mentally scan your body from head to toe, noting how you feel. Observe the quality of air and light. Check in with your mood and thoughts. Once again, being aware of how you are feeling and your surroundings will allow you to better discern when the spirit comes through.

Call in the spirit and pay attention. Say the full name and, if you know it, the birthday of the spirit you wish to speak with. Ask them to come close to you and enjoy the refreshments you have offered them. You may have to ask a couple of times.

Be patient. Listen and observe any subtle differences. Does the air and light in your space

feel different? Are there changes in the sensations in your body or mind? You will notice

when a spirit comes in, but it may be more subtle than you expect. You will most likely feel

and see the person in your mind, not with your eyes.

Test the spirit. I always recommend that you test any spirits you come in contact with who

claim to be familiar to you. The simplest way is to ask them what your name is. If a spirit

claims to be your grandmother, for example, but can’t tell you your full name, they shouldn’t

be trusted! You can also ask them about memories you share or quiz them a bit on family

history. You don’t need to turn this into an interrogation. You’ll know after a question or two.

If you are someone who has a particularly clear mind’s eye, you can walk around the spirit to

see if they are authentic or wearing the mask of the one you called in. If you get any

indication that the spirit in your presence isn’t the one you invited, tell them directly that they

must leave and that you claim the space as your own. Keep repeating this statement until

you feel them leave. Cleanse yourself as described below or however you see fit and try

another day.

Enjoy the conversation. If the spirit in your presence is the one you called in, talk to them

and take the time to listen. Remember that conversing with someone who doesn’t have a

body takes practice. Take notes on what you experience. If you are struggling to get clear

messages and you have divination tools handy, ask the spirit to speak to you through your

cards, etc. For example, you can ask them a question and pull a card to help divine the

answer. Remember that spirits don’t, or can’t, always speak with words. You may get images

in your mind, smells, sensations in the body or flashes of emotions that don’t feel like your

own, etc. If you get overwhelmed, tell the spirit to pull back a bit.

When you feel done talking or the spirit seems tired or like they are pulling back from you,

end the conversation. Thank them for their visit and tell them they can return to where they

were before you called them. Wait until you can feel that they have left, then snuff out the

candle and place the offerings of food, water, and other drinks somewhere outside, such as

under a tree or bush. You can also treat the space as an altar if that feels right. Replenish the water and bring the food and drinks outside once they are no longer fresh. Maintaining

the space will help if you want to build an ongoing relationship with that particular spirit.

Cleanse yourself and your space. Once again, the simplest, tool-free method is envisioning bright light flooding through your body, washing away any spiritual gunk. I am also partial to following this visualization with a few spritzes of Florida water in my space and on my person. If I feel like I need more, I will prepare a simple salt scrub and use it on my feet and hands. This

doesn’t need to be fancy. You can use a blend of salt and olive oil from your kitchen. You can

also use a salt scrub on your full body in the shower, being careful of the face, or take a

simple cleansing bath with salt and herbs that feel appropriate. Do whatever works for you,

just don’t neglect your spiritual hygiene.

A note about skepticism. There’s an odd balance to maintain when practicing spirit

communication. While it is very healthy to maintain some skepticism, it can also offend spirits

greatly if you treat them like they could be a figment of your imagination. A skeptic will say

that this could all just be your subconscious or an active imagination. This is true, but I

promise that spirits will unequivocally demonstrate their presence the more your work with

them and believe in them.

Practice. Building relationships with spirits can enrich your life immensely. It simply takes

time, patience, mutual respect, and willingness to keep learning.

I'd love to hear how your practice goes! Feel free to comment below, share your experiences on social media using the hashtag #monthofmediumship, or send me an email. Have fun!

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